Normally, one might have an "intro" blog. It would be completely standard for me to give you a brief glimps into my history. Background info, basic character traits, what's going on in my life. Well, I'm going to skip all that. A lot of people who read this will be my friends and know most of it anyway. If not keep reading and what you don't know about my history you'll replace with seeing the creation of my present. Getting to know my writing is getting to know me. I hope you enjoy my ever advancing story!
So here we are. Operation blog, post #1. As of late, well as of always, love is on my mind. More specifically I've been thinking a lot about what girls do wrong when it comes to relationships. Sort of like a 10 Things I Hate About You in real life. (Get used to the movie references readers) Which brings me to one of the biggest things that we, as women, let influence our view of relationships and our behavior within them. The chick flick.
Seriously girls, its about time we slap our collective selves and realize that relationships within the world of the cinematic screen have NOTHING to do with how they operate in real life. I'm reluctant to do so but I quote Justin Long's character in He's Just Not That Into You (told you to get used to movie references) when he said, "That is the exception and you're not the exception. You're the rule." In this case, despite its RomCom origin, Justin Long had it right. Ladies, while we must never forget that each of us IS exceptional and deserve nothing but a happily ever after, we need to remember one thing. We must remember that it goes without saying that real life is the rule and the love stories that mainstream media feed us are definitely the exceptions. They're also today's modern princess fairy tales which are just that...FAIRY TALES!!
So the best thing we can do is to be realistic while still maintaining our self worth and optimism. That being said, I present the following evidence to help us distinguish the exception from our rule of reality.
Point #1: A boy in real life will never plan a giant musical number, flash mob, or otherwise large scale public romantic gesture for you. Most boys don't have the resources to do so and even if they did has any guy really put that much thought into any one single romantic thing? We're lucky if we get flowers or have them open the door for us, so living our own magical musical moment is probably out.
Point #2: A boy will never stand there and monologue for five straight minutes about all the qualities and traits that made him love you and make it impossible to live life without you. Actually, he might but this generally happens on your wedding day or at an anniversary party when we force them to. It's never spontaneous or as a result of him almost losing you. (This includes long and romantic love letters as well) I mean, honestly, when was the last time he even remembered to get you a card?
Point #3: The heroine in a lot of chick flicks is always highly successful and financially secure despite the fact that she's only supposed to be in her mid to late 20's. She has a high paying, flexible hours job and lives in a loft apartment in the city that realistically would probably cost millions. She can take crazy wonderful vacations or spend large amounts of money on a make over and/or shopping spree. She's always highly independent or recently heartbroken making her reserved and closed off and somehow this magical guy always reaches her. Really most of us are still paying off student loans and just trying to find a decent one in a sea of, well, disappointment.
Point #4: There will rarely if ever be one perfect guy after you, let alone two!! In what normal world would we have two amazing men after us? A world where it all comes down to that pivotal and heartbreaking moment where we have to choose the true path of our heart and understand that, while someone is going to get hurt, we need to let go an finally be happy with the man we really want. HA!! Seriously, we're lucky to even find someone to date on a serious and committed level.
Point #5: We're never going to have that one amazing night that changes everything. You know. The one where you walk down the staircase and he sees you in a whole new light. The one where you get caught in a rainstorm that makes everything sexier. The one where sex isn't even a factor and you stay up the whole night talking. The one that ends with you waking up cuddling in the morning and he tells you how good you look despite your messed up hair and morning breath. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!!
I could go on but I think we've covered some of the bigger things we keep thinking will happen. So if we can't look forward to these big, epic moments ladies then what can we look forward to? The point of my blog is never to be cynical. Sarcastic maybe but not cynical. I do think I'm a hopeless romantic but I've just learned a lot in my short adult life. So if I offer my opinion about what isn't going to happen I have to share the other side of the coin.
While it might not be the grand gestures of the movies, we do have a lot that make our average relationships, especially "the one," worth it. We can still look forward to that first sensation when he holds our hand. We can still feel our stomach swoop when that random and unexpected kiss finally does take our breath away. We can hope for the smile that we try to hide when he puts his arm around you in front of his friends for the first time and "claims" you as his. We can appreciate smiling at each other as you get ready in the same mirror in the tiny bathroom of your first house. We can marvel at his hand on a your stomach when you tell him the two of you are starting a family. We can, in the small moments that make up our life, be grateful for mundane and average things we experience everyday especially when we find someone who wants to be a part of them. Ladies, you are special in everyway and there are men out there who will realize it and then you will become the exception. Make sure you get everything you deserve. I hope too!!
Love it, love it, love it! And yes, hopefully this if the first of many to come!
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