In the grand scheme of things we focus on lead roles in society. There's the handsome prince and the damsel in distress. The hero and the villain. I understand this and can see why we focus on it. To quote The Holiday, "you should be the leading lady of your own life." So we see things in those terms. We are the lead and generally a lot of our stories tend to focus on finding someone to play oppisite us. I have to say, as someone who is almost always a solo act and is determined to write her own story, my mind has been focused elsewhere lately.
Often overlooked are those quirky roles played by the supporting actors in our lives. Superheros have sidekicks. The princess has a fairy godmother. Rocky had a trainer (sorry boys I never actually watched a Rocky movie all the way through). Jedi Masters had Padawan apprentices. Frodo had the Fellowship. In a more realistic look at how I see this in my everyday life, I would say that we have family and friends. The supporting cast that fill our lives are often overlooked but critical to success. I've already given some examples but, once again, I go to the movies to illustrate my point.
See the best friend, or sidekick role, is pretty much essential in any plot. In a romantic comedy, the sluty-say-anything-always-honest best friend may be a bit brash but she's always the one to speak the truth and come through for her girl no matter what. In a story of epic proportion like Lord of the Rings we have a character like Sam. He's there to keep us human and to remind us why we're still fighting the good fight. In a straight up comedy? He's the crazy dude that gets you into all kinds of situations but at the end of it you appreciate him all the more because he helped you really live. In Marvel/DC fashion, the sidekick is ever faithful, loyal, and dependable. They are the comedic relief, the reason life is bearable, the mirrors who help is see more clearly.
I've thought a lot about what it means to have a good supporting cast in your life. I tend to be the supporter a lot of times. Let's be honest for the first 23 years of my life it was the only role I knew how to play. I love being the friend. I appreciate that I have people around me who know they can depend on me. In any relationship sometimes we have to take a back seat and let our friends or family members do the driving. I like being the one that someone wants along for the ride. I value that. However, I've also come to understand that there are people out there supporting me. Recently, they've encouraged me to hop in the driver's seat and promised they would come along for the ride.
Girls, we don't appreciate this enough. I think understanding the mentality of boys will be boys or needing a night to watch the game with the guys can be good for us. Men are inherently better at friendship (and at keeping it simple) while we are better at the romance stuff. That's okay, but do we take time to value the love that is already present in our lives? Or...do we just keep searching for the kind of love we think we need? Love is love and while I may single I have plenty of it in my life.
I have a mother and a sister who crack me up and are as weird as some of the families you see on sitcoms. I have two friends (boys) who share conversations on everything from spiritual awareness to poop. I have another guy friend who says I love you by quoting 17 again (a vampire wouldn't tell, a cyborg wouldn't know). I have a friend who goes to chick flicks with me. She has the exact same body gestures, sounds, and thoughts as me during our cinematic adventure. I have an amazing friend who I feel extremeley close to despite the fact that, out of the two years we've known each other, we've only been in the same zip code for six weeks. There's also my friend who is a beautiful mother and still took the time to make me a jar of quotes relating to our friendship for my birthday.
So here's to my best friends, my sidekicks, my fellowship. Thank you for theme dressing to go to a Harry Potter movie with me. Thank you for continuing to include me in your life despite marrying wonderful people and starting families. Thank you for caring enough to keep in touch even when you're like four states away. Thank you for mocking me and reminding me to not take everything so seriously. Thank you for going on quests and making pacts with me. Thank you for the love and support you bring to my life. As long as I have you I could walk into the gates of Mordor, fly into the DeathStar, or take on Lord Voldermort. (Okay I had to add that I was getting a little emotional!) In all seriousness? I couldn't do this without you.
As for the rest of you? Never forget to appreciate the things you do have just because you're too focused on what you don't. Love is love and it's worth keeping around!
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