"Whatever happened to chivalry? Does it only exist in 80's movies? I want John Cusack holding a boombox outside my window. I wanna ride off on a lawnmower with Patrick Dempsey. I want Jake from Sixteen Candles waiting outside the church for me. I want Judd Nelson thrusting his fist into the air because he knows he got me. Just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie, preferably one with a really awesome musical number for no apparent reason. But no, no, John Hughes did not direct my life."
Olive Pendergast in Easy A
What do you want out of life? Who do you want to be? What do want to accomplish? Who do you want to share it with? In the midst of the calm before the storm of me moving to an entirely new place where I know zero people these are some of the questions I've been asking. I'm striking out and doing something entirely for me for probably one of the first times in my life. I realize that these are a lot of the questions people ask to get cliche high school graduation speeches but should we ever stop asking ourselves these things? I've learned that life is a self-evaluation process. We are the only thing that is within our ability to control and so we are our only judge and guide to what we want out of life.
If anyone has seen or is familiar with Footloose in any of its versions then you probably know the song "Holding Out For A Hero." The new remake just came out in theaters along with remakes of a lot of the songs. I have to say the new version of this particular song, by Ella Mae Bowen, is amazing. I listen to it and I'm gone. Off into girly dreamland where I'm thinking about that perfect guy that's going to come into my life at just the right moment and be just what I need. If we're being honest, what girl doesn't spend the better part of her daydreams on prince charming? In all honesty, one of the reasons I'm moving is to increase the population of eligible bachelor's in my life.
There's just one problem this time around. I was listening to this song for the first time at two in the morning. I was about half way through and definetely in fantasy land when, all of a sudden, I snapped right back out of it. I'm not that girl anymore. I don't need a hero to save the day. I don't need to find my other half to complete me. I'm not waiting for prince charming to come rescue me from a tower so I can finally start living. How often do we, as women, focus on that? Do we sit around just going through the motions and wait to really start living until we find someone? Why is it that we can't seem to truly validate our lives until we find a special someone to do it with?
I've wasted a lot of time doing just that. I'm a woman. I want to find love just as much as the next person. I get a little sad everytime I see another friend get engaged or hear about another couple starting a family. I mean, Jillee loves love. So, yeah, I'm not going to say that I have it all figured out. I bring this all up because more than anything I want to build a life with someone. My biggest joys and accomplishments mean nothing if I can't share them with the people I love.
Ready for the kicker? I'm still holding out for a hero. I want a man I can believe in the way people believed in superman. I don't want a literal man of steele who can't be hurt. See even superman had a weakness. I want to look at my man and be inspired by the way he tries to overcome weakness regardless of if he succeeds. I want to believe in Prince Charming, or in real life, a man who makes family and friends a priority. Someone who would do anything for his loved ones. I want every main guy from every 80's movie. Someone who always seems to mess up but is willing to admit his mistakes and ask the ones he loves for help and forgiveness with his short comings. I want to see something in someone that inspires. I want to admire the very values upon which a man stands and governs his life by I don't want a perfect unacheivable standard. I want to fall in love with something real.
I am my own hero and I deserve to be with someone equally heroic in his own way. This time around and after all I've been through I just choose to view it differently. Belle saved the Beast. Mulan saved her man and an entire country. So I guess even in fairytales the princesses are more then capable of saving themselves. The thing is, ladies, there are good men out there and maybe we don't give them enough credit when we find them. I mean heroes come in all shapes and sizes. For instance I'm a funsize ninja who would change the world through flashmobs and spontaneous musical numbers. Again I say get what you deserve and determine your own destiny.
